Toxic Relationships - The Spiritual Root
- Liat Rosenshtein
- Jun 20
- 3 min read
Updated: Oct 12
A toxic relationship is a situation where one or both partners experience the other, subjectively, as abusive, hurtful, or aggressive. Abuse may be objective, expressed through violent and harmful behaviors, or it may be subjective, felt through the emotional pain of mistreatment. Either way, the damage is real, and its effect runs deep.
Toxicity can take many forms. Physical violence creates fear and helplessness. Verbal aggression silences and distances the partner who suffers from it. Sexual abuse transforms intimacy into something unsafe. Financial control restricts freedom and independence. Emotional abuse damages self-image, mental well-being, and the ability to function in a healthy way.
What makes toxic patterns so destructive is not only their emotional impact but their spiritual root. At the center of every toxic dynamic lies the ego. The ego demands control, power, and self-fulfillment. It seeks to dominate or to be validated at the expense of the other. In relationships, this ego-based approach slowly replaces love with fear, connection with distance, and trust with insecurity.
Healing the Wounds of the Ego
When one partner hurts the other, the wound goes beyond emotion. It touches the dignity and inner essence of the other person. It damages not only self-esteem but also the spiritual sense of self. The ego’s destructive nature is revealed in these moments, showing how easily it distorts love into something harmful.
Healing requires more than external change. It requires the recognition that the ego, if left unchecked, becomes the source of pain. Both partners must acknowledge how the ego has shaped the dynamic, and both must be willing to face it. Only when the wounds of the ego are recognized can they begin to be healed.
Building a Relationship with Intention
The most important step in moving beyond toxic patterns is willingness. Without willingness, no therapy, no practice, and no conversation can create real change. Both partners must be ready to transform the relationship, but the willingness of the more toxic partner is especially crucial. If they do not want to change, the pattern will continue.
A true relationship is not built on the completion of the ego or the fulfillment of its endless demands. A true relationship is built on intention. Intention means choosing to see the divine in both yourself and your partner. It means recognizing the destructive force of the ego and working together to dismantle it.
From Power Struggles to Spiritual Union
The purpose of a relationship is not to strengthen two separate egos but to dismantle them and create a unified higher self that belongs to both partners. This is the essence of spiritual union. When partners learn to dissolve the barriers of ego, they can build a relationship that is no longer based on fear, control, or validation. Instead, it is based on recognition, mutual respect, and shared spiritual growth.
Toxic relationships cannot be solved by ignoring the problem or hoping it disappears. They require honest confrontation, emotional courage, and above all, spiritual willingness. With the right guidance, partners can transform destructive patterns into an opportunity for growth. The process is not easy, but it is possible. And for those who are ready to walk this path, the reward is nothing less than a new form of love, one that reflects not the demands of the ego but the higher truth of spiritual union.
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